Poking Badgers With Spoons

So, last night I dreamed I was doing some sort of investigation into the seedy activities of a corporation in a large building in a nondescript city. I was doing a physical investigation, so I put on a white ninja suit and sauntered into the building.

As long as I was wearing the suit and hood, no one could see me, even if I waved my arms in front of their faces.

I sneaked around the building, finding clues and hiding as necessary. At some point, building security sensed something was wrong and sent their own ninjas to find me, but there was something wrong with their ninja suits. They were clearly inferior as I could TOTALLY see them and dispatch them with little effort.

After a bit of me taking my mask off and unsuccessfully flirting with the ladies (what's up with that? get turned down even in my own dreams -- this is a recurring issue) I find the evidence trail I've been following leads to this elevator.

Once I step into the elevator it becomes more like a futuristic mining cart that whisks me away across the city through rails in the air. I'm thinking this must be an invisible cart as no one is even bothering to acknowledge that anything is out of the ordinary and this is DEFINITELY out of the ordinary.

I'm looking around at the city whooshing by below me when, very abruptly, a cat walks across my face, jolting me awake. Gonna need coffee today.

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While there was some snow starting to accumulate when I went to bed last night, this came as a small bit of surprise this morning. It's very pretty but my poor, naked doggie did not like it one bit. I wasn't to fond of it when I was trying to get my car unburied.

I did make it safely to the transit station and the bus system got me safely to work. Whee!


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I was just sent a SPAM from Smith Walker. To me, this doesn't sound like a person's name, but more what they do.


"I am Grod Vorkinson, Smith Walker! I walk the forges and blacksmith shops."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you walk the forges and blacksmith shops?"

"Because someone has to do it.”

“Really?”

“Why yes, or the smiths would get completely out of control.”

“Really.”

“Yes!”

“When was the last time there was an out of control smith?”

“Well never! I’m doing my job!”

*Sigh*


Why am I weird?

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I was flipping through channels this morning and on one of them there was ballet. Normally this is not my cup of tea and I would move on, but the image on the screen was... well... let me explain.

There was a lone female dancer in white wearing what appeared to be a large, flat donut. This part seemed fairly normal. She was dancing on a raised platform that was being held by several large and athletically built men. Again, not too out of the ordinary, but here's where things get a little odd for traditional ballet as I picture it in my head. The men holding the platform were dressed in either leather or PVC and the pattern appeared to be something out of the Bondage Lite ™ catalog.

While that was going on, another series of men danced a circle around the platform, dressed in the same dungeon gear and since they did not have to hold the platform with the dancing lady, they were free to wave around bull-whips in an artistic fashion.

Bull whips and bondage clothing? In the ballet? Die Fledermaus?

o.0

IS THIS NORMAL FOR BALLET????!?!

Did I mention that I'd just woke up and hadn't had any caffeine yet?

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...but not this serious: Woman Kills Baby for Interrupting Farmville Session

Seriously. WTF is wrong with people?

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